RULES FOR CHOOSING A SUPERHERO NAME

1. Don't call yourself by your real name, e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.

2. Don't call yourself by someone else's real name, e.g., Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.

3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism, and prowess, e.g., Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.

4. Don't be too modest, e.g., Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-so, Fairly Incredibleman.

5. But don't labor the point, e.g., Mr. So-Powerful- Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.

6. Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image, e.g., Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Yellow Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Evil.

7. Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation rather than supervillains.

8. It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenial hole-in-the-heart condition. That's just asking for trouble.

9. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.

10. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.

11. Don't call yourself the Invisible Lady if you're a man -- even if you do feel like a woman trapped in a man's body.

12. Don't give away important information in your name, e.g., The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable To Strontium 90.

13. Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You'll confuse people.